I had a vivid dream last night that I was with a few former friends from college and high school just shooting the shit as per normal until it got to the point where we were coming down off our highs and realizing that nobody really liked each other for themselves but everybody had only been in some state of perpetual envy and had needed the escapism provided by our pseudo-drug habits. I remember fumbling between smoking pipes (bowls) that had been passed around and seeing that one had a type-faced label identifying its owner as if it had been registered to them (This had been based likely on a perception I had from later teenage years that the design of a bowl signified some proprietary characteristic about its owner).
It was only later in the dream that the crux appeared as if out of thin air. A girl who I did not recognize as anyone with whom I've ever spoken before except for in the dream appeared and I stopped her to talk. I somehow knew that she was younger or in a class year below me and in the dream I was in the last year of what I can only refer to as an immaterial school of youth. I said to her, "Enjoy your sophomore years here as I did, because as it becomes later I start to feel as though I know about things that I am good at doing, but have no idea what it is that I really want to do or should be doing." That is the worst feeling of all...
There were always happier and more care-free times so it is never all about being lost. However once in a while, finding oneself in the crowd seems to be paramount to understanding the more positive roles one can inhabit throughout the course of a co-existence. The concept that everyone inhabits their own existence and must find purpose independent from others unfairly makes our minds adamant against the shared trials of others.
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments