A month in denial

So after a month of giving up my creature comforts, namely alcohol and THC...what have I learned about myself?  Well first and foremost I don't remember the majority of those months, although I do have the highlights and the people closest to me who will remind me of the happenings as time goes on.  I never used either drug to excess and always avoided foods and excess sugar intakes in the mornings, so of course you would think that I blacked out that whole time but I really just had an easier time coping with the staggering silence that is my life as a disenfranchised "millenial".  I still haven't given up on coffee, and if I ever do I'll be a sad sack indeed.  This is the turning point though and now I'm faced with decisions about what I think will happen for me in terms of a commitment to continuing a journey finding myself as both of useful member of an underground community and also a conscientious manager of the current generations contribution to a somewhat dismal outlook.

I've been using a website my brother sent me called Lift to track of one-off type resolutions that contribute towards better time management and the like and found that I keep those goals in mind pretty well, but depending on the time of year and my work schedule it can be tricky to actually stay on track for some more involved tasks.  I find it more useful as a tool to regulate a specific set of objectives.  The more specific the better and checking in I find is optional as long as you've got the idea in mind you will be ready to act when the impluses and opportunities arise.  "Going with the flow" is an adage attuned to those who realize that we are often not in control of our time truly, but that we are beholden to a locality and the individuals assigned therein and so often when we justify the totality of our actions and decisions to take care of only ourselves, we destroy the balance that often exists only tenuously for moments at a time.  If you are in debt financially to those you are with locally, then you should find yourself in gratefully indentured as servant to those people...if they are your parents you might be living with them! Drink some more kefir, eat some more cooked kale or spinach w/ garlic and lemon, relax and read a bit more...at least for now.